I was sitting on the exam table in a doctor's office because I had a terrible sinus infection that had been going on for a week and I could barely breathe. The nurse came in and asked the usual questions including asking if I was pregnant in case they needed to prescribe some medication that might be bad for a developing fetus. I mentioned that Max and I had been trying and that we'd only been at it for a few weeks so the chances of me being pregnant were remote - after all it took my about four months to get pregnant with Amber. As a precaution, they had me do a pregnancy test. I sat in the room -- not thinking too much about it. Then I heard the excited sounds of the nurses talking - "Oh my God, she is, she is!" Since this was a general practitioner's office, they probably didn't do many pregnancy tests. Then the nurse came in with a big smile on her face and said "Guess what, you're pregnant!" I took a deep breath (at this point most of my breaths were big because inhaling from my nose was difficult) and looked at the pee stick in awe. There was a bright blue cross - which meant pregnant. I mean, it must have happened a few days after my last period - I wasn't even late. My head began to swim - me pregnant - now. I figured I had at least until the spring but this baby wanted to come into the world now and there would be no delays. The doctor gave me my estimated due date: December 7th - Pearl Harbor Day - a day that would live in infamy. He asked if I had an OB-GYN which I did. I walked out of the doctor's office with more than a sinus prescription - I had another person growing inside of me.
I called Max immediately in the car and told him. He told me he knew it. "How could you know it -- I didn't even know it and I'm the one whose knocked up?" I replied feeling that newly pregnant buzz. "I can even tell you which night it happened," he recounted. I won't go into all the details, but yeah, that was an awesome night. I then started to think about Amber. She was not yet four years old and now she was going to be a big sister. Luckily she loved babies, but would she love the baby that might be stealing some time with Mommy away from her? Now would not be the time to tell her - it was too soon. It was way too soon to tell anyone. I usually like to wait until past the three month mark to be sure and that seemed like a long way out. I was at best maybe four weeks along - just 10% of the way there and another 36 weeks to go. I always felt bad for people born in December - they seemed to get gypped out of presents and I was determined not to let the happen to this little to-be. I drove home in a bit of a daze - a very different person then when I had left the house. Max met me and gave me a hug. Amber just wanted me to have a princess tea party.
I went to my OB-GYN, a woman who seemed really nice especially because I had insurance. Things seemed to be going well until we got a call from the insurance company asking if I had given birth. No, it had just been a couple of months since we found out and I was nowhere near delivering. Apparently, the doctor's office knew there was a maximum to what the insurance company would cover and put in for the delivery in advance to make sure they were covered. That didn't seem right and we called the doctor's office who assured us that this was their normal procedure. We decided to change to another OB - one that had nurse mid-wives so I still had a women's touch during this time and only saw the actual OB a few times. The pregnancy progressed normally until I had an alpha-fetal protein (AFP) test done which came back a little low. I had a feeling that they had taken it too early. I was being pressured to have an amniocentesis done (that's when they stick a large needle into the pregnant belly take out a small sample of amniotic fluid to test for abnormalities). My gut instinct was that it was a wash - the chances of them finding anything wrong versus endangering a health fetus didn't make sense. I decided not to do it much the dismay of June, one of the mid-wives who I secretly hoped would not be there when it was time to deliver. She was a Debbie Downer - always letting you know the negative side of things. They did another AFP test a week later and it came back normal.
Unlike my pregnancy with Amber, I did get nauseous in the afternoon which is when I was teaching after school acting classes in a few local elementary schools. I remembered the advice of my country Cuban doctor from Miami and kept some fruit Lifesavers with me to cut the acid. It worked most of time although there was one class where I prayed another adult would be standing by in case I needed to run to the bathroom and toss my cookies during class. I managed to keep it together and was hoping that these afternoon attacks would pass quickly.
At the three month mark, we told Amber that we were going to have a baby and that right now it was in Mommy's stomach. She patted my stomach and said "Hi, baby." I told my parents on a trip to Tallahassee to see my sister and her family. I snuck a picture of the ultrasound in with some pictures I had taken of Amber. My parents and sister were so excited and showered Amber with all sorts of praise for becoming a big sister. It's hard to know what a four year old understands, but if having a baby meant you got hugs and new toys, then this second kid thing was not turning out to be that bad.
As time wore on, I got bigger and bigger. First I got big in my boobs which is always a bonus, especially for the fathers. Then the fifth month hit which is when you don't have a prego belly yet and people who don't know you're pregnant try to be nice about the fact you've put on some weight and no longer have a waistline. At the six month mark it's pretty obvious you're pregnant. When I hit six months, I looked huge. Not just from the side, but all around. It didn't really hit me until I was shopping at Pea in a Pod, a maternity store with Amber and happened to see my behind in not one mirror but three at the same time. I gasped and said "Oh my God, my ass is huge." Amber started to laugh, ran out of the dressing room and in the middle of the store shouted "Oh God, huge ass!" I managed to put a robe on to get her to come back into the dressing room as a room full of sympathetic women looked on. "Don't worry honey, I think you butt looks just fine," said an older sales lady which was reassuring and creepy at the same time.
Since this was my second baby, I was acutely aware of the fact that he or she (I never found out the sexes of my children before hand - call me traditional - I liked to be surprised) might come very fast. Since my hard labor with Amber was only 26 minutes I was afraid to sneeze. At this point, I was working for as a marketing director at an Atlanta theater which just made my phobia about delivering while driving on I-85 even worse. As my delivery date got closer, I tele-communuted - attending staff meetings via phone and e-mailing press releases and media packages to the office for approval. Worse, I kept on thinking I was in labor when I wasn't and dragged Max to the hospital twice in the middle of the night only to be turned away empty handed and still very pregnant.
My parents came for a visit and I felt like I could relax because if I went into labor, there was someone to look after Amber. I had already gotten her stickers that said "Amber is a Big Sister" for her to hand out to her Pre-K class and a big sister t-shirt. It was getting to be the first week of December and her assignment for school was to have her family talk about about holiday traditions on audio tape. It was really sweet and while were reading The Night Before Christmas with Mom, Dad and Max, I felt a little contraction. I didn't say anything since I had lugged Max out of bed twice before to go to the hospital - so I kept my mouth shut until about 2:00 a.m. when they seemed to be pretty regular. I woke him up and told him I was pretty sure this was it. We got my bags (they were packed and I had a fresh pedicure this time) and we headed through the snowy night to Gwinnett Medical Center. We got there and were met immediately but June, my least favorite mid-wife. She asked me if I had ever gotten the amino to which I answered with a very curt "No, and what difference does it make now?" That probably was not the right thing to say but I was very uncomfortable. She decided not to give me much in the way of pain killers (I had one little dose of something that dulled the pain for about 20 minutes and then wore off). Luckily another midwife showed up so it wouldn't be all June in the delivery room.
The midwives both left Max and I in the room while they consulted and I remember being aware of the fact that giving life was very much like death. I was in intense pain and when it was all over, things would be very different. My life would never be the same. I also thought I saw an angel hovering near by which was very comforting.
Then came the time to push without an epidural like I had with Amber so it was full on painful - take no prisoners child birth. I prayed that this baby would be as fast to push out as Amber. The pain and the burning were intense. I was trying to take yoga breaths while I was pushing. I was looking at everyone's face when they told me the head had just come out. The cord was wrapped around the neck and the baby looked very pale. June informed Max that he wouldn't be able to cut the cord - to which he replied "That's fine just do it!" They cut the cord and he was finally delivered - my little Daniel was finally here. However, his APGAR score was around 2 or 3 which meant a baby in distress. They called the NICU nurses in. Max felt like if we had let them take him away, we'd never see him alive again. He asked if he could hold the baby's hands which they allowed him to do. Max, who is a Reiki Master (Reiki is a form of energy healing) held Daniel's hands and gave him the biggest shot of Reiki he's ever done. Max's eyes were closed for maybe a minute when the nurses said "Mr. Grimm, you can let go now," just as Daniel took a big breath and started to cry. He turned a healthy pink and he even had enough strength to do his first official act of defiance - which was to pee on everyone standing around the table. His level of trajectory was very impressive.
The look of relief on Max's face was immeasurable. I got a chance to see him and touch his little hands before they washed him. He had strawberry blond hair and weighed in at 8 pounds 14 ounces, but they weighed him after he pissed, so I say it was closer to 9 pounds since I delivered a full bladder. Then, I finally got to hold him. He was the most beautiful baby boy I had ever seen and nothing could ruin this moment, with one exception. June, always the bearer of good news, mentioned that his second toe was bigger then his big toe on his right foot which could mean it was a sign of mental retardation. I smiled and pointed to my manicured feet which both had second toes which were bigger then the big toe. "I guess it hereditary and by the way - my IQ is 128 - just 12 points from genius - I think we're good."
Later that day, a pediatrician came to look at Daniel and true to form, he tried to pee on the doctor as well - to which the good natured physician remarked "That is the most ambushing kid I've ever seen." Amber came by with my Mom and Dad. We had a present from the baby to give Amber which was a Mermaid Barbie that she'd been wanting for a long time. She immediately tore the box open and started to play with it. She gave Daniel a little mobile that converted into a baby musical toy. She smiled at her new baby brother and patted his head. "Nice baby," she said. To this day, they still get along amazingly well.
Christmas came three weeks later in the year 2000. When people asked me what I wanted for Christmas I replied, "A healthy baby." I got my wish and I've been very grateful ever since. December 5th is definitely a day that will live in infancy.
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